Imagine a couple taking a walk down the beach. You’ve seen them… walking side by side…talking with each other. They started at the same place… and the ended at the same place.
When you walk together financially with your spouse… it’s as beautiful as walking down a beach together. You start on the same page… you both know what your financial situation looks like… you both know what your goals are and you both agree on the steps to reach those goals.
When a couple does not talk about money.. does not have the same goals… does not have the same methods.. does not start in the same place with the same information… how can they possible walk together in agreement? The outside observer will witness one partner walking north and the other partner walking south. They are so far away that they can’t possibly HEAR each other.
What happens when a couple doesn’t communicate? They start living separate lives under one roof. There is division…disunity…it opens the door for financial infidelity…and it causes pain. But it doesn’t have to be this way.. because a couple can learn how to communicate financially.
Let’s take a classic example of a Spender/Saver relationship. He’s a spender… She’s a saver… He likes to have fun, and buy gifts for people… She like’s to have cash on hand and cannot stand wasting money.
At first this couple clashes big time: He calls her a tightwad… she calls him a child.. He says she is no fun at all… she says he’ll spend all the money until they’re broke. They are focused on each others flaws…and the negativity continues until their both start walking in different directions financially.. and then communication completely stops.
Instead… if they focus on each others STRENGTHS… they can then realize their OWN flaws… and work together to walk along the same path.
He can realize that she DOES like to have fun… she just doesn’t want to pay FULL PRICE for fun. So he can say to her.. “Honey.. I’d like to go to this water park.. are they running any specials?”. This gets HER excited, because she loves deals. So they start planning a trip to the water park when it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.
She can realize that he’s not wasteful, but generous! She realizes his gift giving for what it is..and she can also realize the joy in giving to others. So she starts finding ways to buy gifts for less. He doesn’t mind buying gifts cheap… because now he can buy more gifts than he used to.
So if you’re in financial discord with your partner…try to understand what strengths your partner has…and focus on those instead of their flaws. Start being honest with your partner in what you’re doing too, and if you need help.. ask for it.
Two people can’t walk together unless they agree. They have to agree on where to start, what pace to walk, and where they are going. Walking together financially is a beautiful thing. Just like a walk down the beach.
What are your thoughts?
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